Hinky Meter "Refugees"

Oh yeah those too. I got a few of those recently too. Most legit contests that you do enter will call you on the phone, or mail you something.

I recently won a Sony Tablet from marlboro.com. When I first posted it, that I had won, lots of people thought it was a scam. However, I knew that I had entered, so I knew it was legit. (I got the item a few days later) If you have NOT entered a contest, do NOT open the email...it very well can be a scam & most likely is.

lily2 wrote:I only have a few things to say. Many of you know me as the first moderator at Hinky. Years ago, Val asked me for help and I agreed to participate because I respected her work ethic and passion so much. I still do. I resigned over minor differences over two cases - but I digress...

I have cautioned and taught many of you to use a "journal" system to document your work and copy and paste your posts for years. As it turns out - most of you didn't. This is your own fault - not Valhall's fault. She didn't advertise herself as being the "forever" vault of your rambling thoughts for forever. The site costs money to maintain and after the Anthony trial ended - the membership volume probably didn't even come close to covering her costs monetarily.

Not to mention - new members rarely read the "rules" that she spent months perfecting in order to allow everyone to have their say but respectfully consider other's opinions and the fragile state of families dealing with tragedy. Can you imagine how frustrating that must be? On top of that - dealing with family issues, etc. which she was very open about.

She didn't and doesn't "owe" you anything. You never paid her for her time, energy, love and care. On top of that - her articles were articulate and well written - not something that can be said for many of the comments that were written in response. You should be grateful for having a free place to spend your time vs bitching about her deciding she's had enough.

She's a wonderful person - living a real life with all of its good times and heartache. Just love her and move on.

RBM - Hi Lily! Thank you for your comments! Val had mentioned on THM she had lost a good friend over the past months. It was obvious you mean a lot to her. It is heartfelt that you have come to your friends defense. I consider her a friend as well, not on the same level as you. She owes me one thing, to take care of herself. I appreciate the time I had at THM. The ride was worth the fall my friend! I'm grateful I had the pleasure of getting to know a genuine raw person. Which is rare these days. There were warnings after warnings, Val wasn't keeping it secret she was at her breaking point. She was frustrated and even hurt over the lack of respect she was receiving. At one time she had posted she wasn't sure she was going to continue with the forum anymore. I miss Val and THM very much, but a healthy friend at peace is more important than my own selfish wants. Take care Lily and take care of our friend Valhall.

lily2 wrote:Thank you Ann - TX

I only ever did what I did for Valhall and no other reason except for the families.

She was the one who got up at 4:30 a.m. to search the net for updates and write stories - not me.

She was the one who mediated disputes between members - I only helped bring them to her attention.

She was rarely not at the site before 4:30 or 5:00 a.m. - before work at her impressive full-time job.

She always backed up her moderators.

Everything was all "Valhall" and it was a heavy burden which she carried until she couldn't do it right now. It may be temporary or it may be permanent - that's her decision.

I made a lot of friends at THM. I miss so many of you - including you Ann - TX who kept up all of the latest news links to the various tragedies. I guess I got burned out before Valhall did - she's a strong person who just had to decide her priorities like all of us do.

I think you all have found a great home here - and should be grateful for the warm welcome you've received. It's hard taking on a bunch of new members (I know). Kudos to RC and their owners and members for the big warm welcome and all of the helpful hints.

I don't think some folks understand how much work it is to host a site like this.

I definitely understand a lot of what Val was going through and I agree that many folks don't understand how much work it is to run a site like this.

As an example, I'm getting alerts that certain people are plotting to start a flame war here.

See the following snips from Wikipedia

Flamebait (more commonly known as trolling) is a message posted to a public Internet discussion group, such as a forum, newsgroup or mailing list, with the intent of provoking an angry response (a "flame") or argument over a topic the poster often has no real interest in.

A flame war results when multiple users engage in provocative responses to the originally posted flamebait. Flame wars often draw in many users (including those trying to defuse the flame war) and can overshadow regular forum discussion if left unchecked.

Resolving a flame war can be difficult, as it is often hard to determine who is really responsible for the degradation of a reasonable discussion into flame war. Someone who posts a contrary opinion in a strongly focused discussion forum may be easily labeled a "baiter", "flamer", or "troll".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flaming_%28Internet%29

Some of the possible flamebait being discussed was to accuse one of the owners of RC of being Cindy Anthony. Seriously, who in their right mind would buy that, but less obvious flamebait isn't always easy to pick out. Please keep in mind that when you find yourself getting riled up by someone, you may be falling right into their trap.

Now the Trayvon Martin thread is getting to be a problem, possibly from a combination of flamebait and users who can't agree to disagree, so I have over 1,000 posts to sort through there when I'd rather focus on cases concerning the missing.

Sometimes there is no winning for somebody running a site. A typical scenario is that one member will get offended by something that another member posts. If the person doing the offending really deserved to be banned, we usually still have a few members who leave with them because they were friends with the person and didn't agree that the person was doing anything wrong, or they think we were infringing on that person's right to freedom of speech.

In the case that a member gets offended and we don't ban somebody or do something immediately, the member often threatens to leave or goes ahead and leaves without saying anything. Sometimes, those are members who I like a lot and are otherwise really good contributors, but they either get their feelings hurt very easily or they get their feelings hurt after falling for flamebait. It's like they expect their hurt feelings to be a higher priority for me than my wife and kids.

It's happened here plenty of times and I'm sure it happened to Val at THM plenty of times. There is no keeping everybody happy once a dispute arises, so it seems like your choices are getting fed up and shutting down the site or keeping the site open and having a bunch of members quit on you.

We have no plans to ever shut down the site, but I can promise that my family comes above spending a whole day or a whole weekend resolving a bunch of drama, so problems aren't always going to be resolved immediately, especially in threads with hundreds or thousands of posts.

Other than all that and the very few people who try to cause that type of drama, I love being a part of this site and have enjoyed most the people from THM who joined here and immediately started contributing to the threads. It's just like Lily said, it's not always easy and some folks don't understand how much work it is.

I will keep a bucket of ice water near my computer
in the event of any FLAMES. I'll just stick my head
in it and cool off before attempting to respond to
anything that might start a war here.
I love that goofy little girl!

Let me get one more thing off my chest before I go back into positive mode.

Another problem is that people take an opinion from one post and think it reflects the opinion of the whole site. An example is that this thread is probably 98% to 99% positive towards Val and someone takes a couple negative comments and acts like the whole site is bashing Val.

The following should be automatically understood in a discussion forum and there really should be no need to post a disclaimer such as:

The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by individual members in the discussion forum are not necessarily the views of this website or its management.

J4A... So one opinion which doesn't reflect the general population's view point will remain only one opinion, as long as the gen pop ignores it and acts as if it is unimportant, thus reducing the chances of a wild fire
Am I getting it yet?

Hi Marcia an Lilly ,,Justice4all DM an all the mods at RC an members..Im haveing pc issues so havent posted much but glad an happy to see many hinkyites at this site.Marcia I keep hopeing for positive news re your son daughter in law an your H replacement...

Just a quick re scams involveing parcells ect..At the momment there is an organised crime world wide scam that involves scamming hundreds off your phone bill..You receive a card through your door informing you that a package was attempted to deliver to you but unable..It looks officiall an legit could be from parcel force or whatever the popular delivery service in your country is..There are numbers for you to call to enquire about how to collect your package..Thease numbers allege to be a free line...O8OO ECT or whatever freecodes are in the country you live..So all seems safe..However when you phone your call is diverted to another number in Bellize S America an4oo pounds or nearly 8 hUNDRED DOLLARS is charged to your acount...Its a very simple an efFective scam so please BEWARE...Check with the office of wichever carrier purrports to be sending the parcell an dont phone the numbers on the card.

Hi Ecossie! Thank you for the info. I miss your kitteh avatar...Wow that reminded me of Six of One (?).

Hi Lash thanx but you are welcome 6 of one was brilliant siverspur an so so many magpie bob goodboy maura an I missed the rouge hinky when Vall updated the site that wee bugger used to pop up at the most inapropriate times,, I see Elljay is on this site also a home from home an very wellcomeing.

Rouge Winky I Meant

And PotatoHead and JWG, sorely missed from the old days. Thanks for the reminder about Maura, she was awesome.

Hi Chester! My favorite avatar. I was thinking about your cute face yesterday.

Ecossie - I remember when I officially came out of lurking and began posting on THM. You gave me tips on my posts on the Caylee threads. I will never forget the times during the trial. Especially when we all were in total amazement of Silly Sally. The very moment she spoke we all were typing as fast as we could to share our thoughts on her drunkenness or she was overly medicated (Xanax) *wink*.

Marica wrote:You have got me thinking.. Rec an email yesterday. Sub line said something about me winning $1,000 gift cert in a contest I entered last month. I don't enter contests. Deleted the email. Glad I did.

I got this same one on my cell phone! I deleted it. I don't enter contests either!

Oh & sorry about my Johnny Depp pic. It does the same thing to me it does to you. I found that online somewhere, & about passed out when I saw it! I have loved him ever since I 1st saw him on 21 Jump Street many years ago! He just does it for me!

Julie I am truly lost over here with the "Refugee's" dee will never find me I am sure. You know that banning thing over where I used to belong.

And who can forget the irrepressible "Suunydeeds" who said she was 90 something and had some interesting posts..

@ Wonderingwhy

She was 96, the same age as my Aunt. I was able to buy the story for a long time because my aunt was so active until she hurt her knee last year.

She was a hoot anyway..Even if she did embellish A LOT!!

jerseyjul, I thought of you and your profile this weekend when I saw a movie called "The Tourist" (?). I thought I had seen EVERY movie with Johnny Depp in it. I don't know how I had missed that one.

LuLu-Tx wrote:jerseyjul, I thought of you and your profile this weekend when I saw a movie called "The Tourist" (?). I thought I had seen EVERY movie with Johnny Depp in it. I don't know how I had missed that one.

I never hear of that one either! I thought I saw em all too! I'll have to look for that one.

wonderingwhy wrote:She was a hoot anyway..Even if she did embellish A LOT!!

Err, okay, we'll say embellish.

kh

Fuzzy Ears
Birthing Altar
Placenta Burial

If you know what any of these things are, count yourself as a TRUE Hinky!



Anyone remember this? KZ does Carpet Testing-- minus the white Pontiac Sunfire!

Bwaahaahaahaahaa! kh

KZ - you're reading my mind! I found a photo and clipped the heading too. I saved it with this picture...

KZ wrote:Fuzzy Ears
Birthing Altar
Placenta Burial

If you know what any of these things are, count yourself as a TRUE Hinky!



Anyone remember this? KZ does Carpet Testing-- minus the white Pontiac Sunfire!

Good one KZ..You got Sunnydeed's Avatar and embelished it~

jaquey wrote:Julie I am truly lost over here with the "Refugee's" dee will never find me I am sure. You know that banning thing over where I used to belong.

Aww, jaquey.

dee saw me here, she'll see you too if she's still reading here.

Hi dee!

KZ wrote:Fuzzy Ears
Birthing Altar
Placenta Burial

If you know what any of these things are, count yourself as a TRUE Hinky!



Anyone remember this? KZ does Carpet Testing-- minus the white Pontiac Sunfire!

Ahhh these pics have just brought back so many wonderful memories. Those were good times. We sure had fun.

Sunnydeeds was certainly entertaining that is for sure. Wonder what she is up to now. There were so many wonderful "virtual" friends snugging up to the HM virtual bar that I still think about to this day....Ecossie mentioned a few upthread. I feel so honored to have "known" so many good people thru the HM.

jaguey, I hope dee finds us. Were you banned, also, from you know where? Gosh, to this day, I still do not know what I did unless it was just asking two people to consider the opinion of others. Apparently, there are two people on the Martin/Zimmerman case that are allowed to bully others & take over the thread at that site. Is that because the moderator agrees with them???
Anyway, happy to see you & happy to be here.

Hi alabama52----You are not telling me you were banned also?? Those 2 people completely took over the whole site!! And it was allowed. I do not know what happened with all the rules that we were to follow about agree to disagree! I posted in ChatRoom and a word regarding what was happening on Zimmerman thread was not liked by whoever is running that site now. So I was GONE!! But so nice to meet up with you again!

I hope dee finds us too. I think she knows what happened to me though. How long have you been gone? Must be almost 2 months for me. I still read there and nothing has changed on that thread.So happy to see you. Who besides us is gone I wonder?

Previous THM member, didn't post much after the CA trial (my heart broke more than a little), but frequent reader. Am actually pretty shocked at how sad & stunned I was to see the site just... gone. I guess I was far more attached to it than I knew.


This is kinda my "test post"... Good to see familiar names, and thank you so much to RC for welcoming everyone on over.

jaquey, yep, I was banned. The thing about one of those two people (the really 'small' one....get my drift?) is that she admitted a couple of months ago that she had changed her name & such because she had been banned or something for getting into it with a couple of people. That is definitely against that website's rules but they've allowed her to stay & continue being rude.
Anyway, I've seen some comments from others at a few other sites that can see that those two are running that thread so we are not the only ones that see it.

At top of this page you will see "inbox" from now on we can talk through personal messages. Just click on the "inbox'.Whoops better say who i am speaking to. But dee will see these posts anyway Alabama52. So see you at the inbox

So comforted to find a Hinky refugee thread! I was Plastic Horse. I miss Val's blog a ton and wish she'd write a book so I could buy it.

LucyJane. Glad you found us. Make yourself at home and if you have any questions, just ask.

Julie wrote: LucyJane. Glad you found us. Make yourself at home and if you have any questions, just ask.

Thanks for the Welcome! I've been reading here for a longish time. I'm generally not a heavy poster, obviously, but certainly wanted to acknowledge the amount of work that goes into these forums as well as the expense and the enormous amount of burnout from both the content discussed and the conflicts it can cause.

I have to admit that it felt a little like a beacon going out, but I'm all for Val exercising her right to a peaceful existence. A bit of a break from reading and thinking about crime leaves a little space for some happy to sneak in. I'm also very happy to see so many of the posters I looked forward to reading.

jaquey, long time no see! So glad to see you posting and I bet dee will see you here! dee is on top of things as we know!

I have missed you! I still think about the good old days a few years back. Hope all is well with you. ♥

I have not been on this thread in a while.

A huge Texas size welcome to all of the new members that have joined since the last time I was on this thread!

LucyJane, glad you found us former Hinksters!

I thought of you last week. When researching some things related to our beloved Val and THM, I found your yellow plastic horse avatar! It looked so lonely.

Ann - Tx wrote:
I have not been on this thread in a while.

A huge Texas size welcome to all of the new members that have joined since the last time I was on this thread!

LucyJane, glad you found us former Hinksters!

I thought of you last week. When researching some things related to our beloved Val and THM, I found your yellow plastic horse avatar! It looked so lonely.

LOL I couldn't find the poor thing. It was kind of sad looking. I figured I'd leave my name here as it is rather than figure out how to make it Plastic Horse. So so glad to be here under any name and to know I wasn't alone in the dark, so to speak.

LucyJane.. Kinda glad you changed the name.. Plastic horse (to me) seemed cold and distant... like a toy forgotten under the lilac bush when the kids went off to play elsewhere. Now I see a warm and lively person connected.
Hope this isn't offensive ... I seem to get myself in trouble a lot with offering my perceptions.

LucyJane, I like your "new" nic. You've let folks know your former nic at THM and all the former Hinksters will know who you are.

I like your new avatar, too! It is festive!

Marica wrote:LucyJane.. Kinda glad you changed the name.. Plastic horse (to me) seemed cold and distant... like a toy forgotten under the lilac bush when the kids went off to play elsewhere. Now I see a warm and lively person connected.
Hope this isn't offensive ... I seem to get myself in trouble a lot with offering my perceptions.

Your perception on this was spot on. For that particular place the name represented the odd toy, the observer with the bird's eye view, who could sort out what all the hooting chattering Barbies were up to from a distance. In real life I'm a trailer dwelling, bluegrass loving, painter of landscapes.

Good... I visited my old family farm Mon. and was taken back in time as I stood beneath the Maple tree where I played. I didn't have a plastic horse, but did leave my doll under that tree more than once. Maybe I should have called myself Judy online.. Anyway, I couldn't see the plastic horse left behind under the tree but a lilac bush seemed more the place a horse would be left behind.

Plastic Horse-
Good to see you! I liked your name! It was special, one-of-a-kind thing.
Always made me think of the last horse of a carousel. One so special it had been saved and adopted. (Admittedly, the horse you showed was strange but I have an imagination, you know?)

I will try to remember your new name.

Welcome !

LucyJane, if you decide you would like to change your name back to Plastic horse, J4A can do that for you! Just send him a PM requesting the change if you decide to go back to your old name.

Thanks so much Snaz, but LucyJane is kind of my forever handle and fits fine. I'll round up a pony for my avvie and jump in.

Does anyone know what happened to sunnydeeds? I saw where she was mentioned here yesterday. Did she continue to post after the Anthony case? I took a break after that case & was just returning when the Hinky was shut down.

LucyJane wrote:Thanks so much Snaz, but LucyJane is kind of my forever handle and fits fine. I'll round up a pony for my avvie and jump in.

Sounds good! And btw, welcome to you.... and all the other former Hinkies who have decided to call RC your home! We're very glad you're here and hope you love it as much as we do!

I, personally, look forward to getting to know you...

alabama52.. Sunnydeeds went through some bad times. I don't recall how it all went down, but her husband first had to have a leg amputated, then he died. Not long after that she learned she had a fast moving cancer.. not sure what it was, but she only had a short time to live, where upon a relative began posting her condition ... This was about the time my computer died, so I only got in on the last of it where Val verified that SD was a fake. A few who supported her left in a huff, angry that anyone would question her. Some of us had started a facebook THM Friends group to remain in contact and SD was a part of that. Some left there also. Bottom line SD was a fabricator of tales. She was good, but it was hard on her as she aged very quickly... when she left she was 96. Can't recall her age when she first arrived.. To me it was really sad. She was a hoot, and loved the way she wrote, if only she had been more honest with everyone.