Hinky Meter "Refugees"

to all the newest members.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all the Moms here & to those who advocate the children

ecossie- please let me know if there's something I can do to make things better.

I must say I like the "gadgets" available here at RC - and the fact that you can change your "Mood." Kinda of gives everyone advance notice of what is going on in your life and whether or not to push your bottons. LOL Yep, I do believe we oprhans can settle in nicely here (thanks RC) and hopefully more THM refugees will find their way here.

I am so glad to hear Val is going to preserve the information from THM site so we can access it. I used it often and in fact went to go look something up on THM last night when I remembered that it was no more. Sigh. It was such a great reference tool in addition to being our cyber "home." Thanks again Val for everything you gave us - I hope you have a wonderful day despite the challenges.

Kudos to Migraine for setting up Justice4Jane chat, dedicated to Jane Bashara's memory. All ex-hinkies invited to join. Still in embryo stage, but up and running:

http://justice4jane.forumotion.com/

art tart wrote:
Hey friends, I felt it was important to set the record straight. There is no reason for there to be any rumors, Val didn't have a "meltdown," that was never her style, she addressed every situation with blatant honesty & fairly, I clearly see where she had had enough after the absurdity/behavior of some especially with so much on her plate. I clearly understand that was never Val's intention with her blog to have to step in & address intolerance within her blog for some that didn't have the "tolerance" for the opinions of other's differing from their's.

Valhall, a real class act, her plate has been full a long time. imo, from my experience, I experienced 5 death's in 7 years, it takes a very long time to find your JOY again, so many things trigger memories, good & bad, healing takes a long time & as Val shared in her last posts, she is still in a situation that causes pain. Prayers/love go out to Val, she deserves all the happiness in the world.

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I have to agree with you Art. (I was Mimi on Hinkymeter, by the way.) Over this last year, I have lost 7 loved ones. First, my mother who I was taking care of 24/7 for almost 2 years and then my first and dearest boyfriend, who I had remained friends with for over 33 years and then another old friend I've known almost all my life... in the middle of all that, 4 of my elderly cats and a wonderful dog I had adopted were euthanized due to cancer and the dog having been poisoned by a neighbor. All that left me broken hearted as well as angry. I am aware of the fact that I have not "been myself" for a long time now. I am not seeking sympathy or attention by mentioning this... my point is that I feel like I should have known that Val was suffering. She lost her father very close to the time I lost my mother and I knew that. Because she's a fighter and appeared so strong, I lost track of the fact that she lost her father and that just doesn't go away in a month or two. Add to that, and she has had the added pain of hearing her father trashed yet still must care for the needs of the person doing the trashing.
I was one of those people who was shocked when I found Hinkymeter shut down "without any warning." But, after reading Val's words, I realized that there was a lot of warning. We read many times the warnings she posted... she told of often having to clean up the threads and re-teach the rules/regulations of the site... it was her site and she expected a certain level of behavior for those participating there. The rules were broken time and time again and the warnings were repeated each time. There are so many of you Hinkies who followed those rules all along and I admire all of you. There were those who didn't and, I suppose, some of the newer posters who were breaking the rules made it seem like the site was "almost being taken over" by a new guard with no respect for the rules... and certainly no respect for Val or the atmosphere she wanted to create on her blog.
I am writing in particular, because I was one of those who broke the rules near the end. I was not involved in a big way and I only made a few comments in anger and I doubt I had any direct role in the site being closed down... but I did say something very nasty about Cindy Anthony and her motivations for having a Foundation and her level of love for Caylee. Looking back now, I think I know the kind of critical thinker that Val is well enough to know that she would not object to my opinion but it would have been the hateful way in which I expressed my opinion that she would have found fault with. She would not have objected if I had backed up my claims with some sort of proof (even circumstantial in nature)... and then went on to express my opinion in a respectful way.
I let my emotions take away my sense of good judgment. I know better than to comment in the fashion I used... on Hinkymeter or anywhere else. I'm sure my hateful comment was just like another straw that was being piled onto Val's back at a time when she was reaching the point of saturation.
That I have suffered this past year and then piled hurt onto someone else who is suffering is very difficult for me to come to terms with. The fact is that I have to come to terms with it and the first part of that is to own up to my own responsibility and part of hurting Val. If other members here are leery of me due to this comment... well, another price I have to pay then. Here, I plan on doing more reading than commenting which is really what I was doing at Hinkymeter anyway... I just wish I had kept it that way.
My biggest regret (oh, hell... each regret is big in it's own way... I can't measure which one is biggest.) I regret terribly that I took Val for granted. I thought she'd always be there doing her work (real work) for our entertainment and reading pleasure and that all I had to do was brew a pot of coffee and somehow the Hinkymeter would always be there for me. Don't know what you've got until it's gone... there was a real live person behind all that work (one with deep feelings which I knew but seemed to forget).. and now I feel like a person who was lucky enough to get invited to her house... but once too often left my own dirty coffee mug behind on the couch and yeah, with a few cigarette butts sticking out of the coffee grounds, too.
In my case... I hope Val is not reading this. It's Mother's Day. I'd rather know that Val has her computer turned off... unplugged even... and she's just enjoying her family today (and for many days to come) and somebody else is cleaning up the coffee mugs for once.
I miss K-West, KZ and Kerflunkled, too... but, that's my problem, too.

lostyou wrote:Hello Everyone. formerly youlost @ thm, starting anew with lostyou. Nice to see so many people from thm, and people at RC who care about the missing. I really like the layout here. Thank God I asked Julie one night what RC was or I would still be wondering around the ethernet like a zombie right now!
I never followed a blog untill thm, I loved vals accuracy and wit and straight forward words. I loved her perscective. I'm really going to miss her. I wish her well and hope she knows how much her blog taught me. I miss all the hinkies and am so happy to see so many here.
Thanks for taking in this refugee.

Hi Lostyou. I remember you asking me what RC was. I'm glad you asked & I'm glad you're here.

ecossie possie wrote:Seems Im not welcome at this site no problems your loss all the best to all my hinky mates......

WHY? You are one of my favorite posters. Please don't leave.

It took me all day and night to catch up with you guys. I will miss Val. I wish her all the best.

New here. Also formerly at THM but mostly just in lurk mode. While I will miss THM and Val, I certainly understand and respect why she shut things down. Self and family first. As I've already told her, best of luck and my prayers and support to her. Looking forward to reading and posting here.

Hi to my fellow Hinky Meter refugees. I have found my way over here today. Though I am grieving the loss of Val and THM, it is comforting to find many posters I have become accustomed to seeing.

Thanks to Ann, Julie, et.al. at Reality Chatter for taking us in to their online home and giving us a blanket and cup of soup, metaphorically speaking.

I hope I can find the Tammi Smith forum tomorrow to discuss closing arguments!

Chester_from_THM wrote:Hi to my fellow Hinky Meter refugees. I have found my way over here today. Though I am grieving the loss of Val and THM, it is comforting to find many posters I have become accustomed to seeing.

Thanks to Ann, Julie, et.al. at Reality Chatter for taking us in to their online home and giving us a blanket and cup of soup, metaphorically speaking.

I hope I can find the Tammi Smith forum tomorrow to discuss closing arguments!

I think Ventrilo will still be open for us to chat about Tammi tomorrow..Ann-Tx knows more about it than I do.

Hi, Chester! Welcome to Reality Chatter! So glad you found us! Lots of Hinksters are here.

The Tammi Smith trial is being discussed on the Gabriel Johnson thread. Freckles is here and hopefully she'll post the testimony like she did at THM.

Also, Val so kindly has made Ventrilo - Live Chat available to us for the duration of the trial. Info about that is on Page 10 of the G. Johnson thread.

Please see: Ann - Tx Yesterday at 4:36 am

When you get to the Johnson thread, please click on 10 (right corner) and it will take you to Page 10.

This is the link to the Gabriel Johnson thread at RC:

http://www.realitychatter.com/t1792-gabriel-johnson-missing-12-26-09
RC Gabriel Johnson -- Missing 12/26/09

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Chester, I and probably others will post the Links to the Live Streams when they become available tomorrow.

Usually, KPHO and AZFamily - 3TV of Phoenix, AZ and CNNLive.com.

If you are a Ventrilo member, I hope you can join us on the Live Chat (Audio included).

Hope to be back here later. Going out of town for the rest of the day.

To Val and all the Moms here and at THM:

Ann - Tx wrote:Hi, Chester! Welcome to Reality Chatter! So glad you found us! Lots of Hinksters are here.

. . .
This is the link to the Gabriel Johnson thread at RC:

http://www.realitychatter.com/t1792-gabriel-johnson-missing-12-26-09
RC Gabriel Johnson -- Missing 12/26/09

Thanks Ann! You are always so helpful.

For some reason, the buttons and pictures do not load for me here

Thank goodness I found Reality Chatter, I am so glad to see that the hinky members are here, as I was truly sad when THM shut down I wish the very best for Valhall and family, May God bless her in her endeavors. I only posted there a few times, but I have been reading/lurking there almost since the beginning and I will surely miss Val's wisdom. BUT I am so happy to see that the wise and wonderful hinksters are here and I can read all your wonderful insights. And a BIG Thank You to Reality Chatter for a soft place to land in cyberspace, I am grateful.

No one said anything just a bit raw an thought my posts were being deleted.Ann has explained that its not the case,Just system overload or something..Happy Mothers Day ...

Thank you Ann-TX for telling us at THM about this site....I remembered, finally.

Will miss Val and THM, but so happy to see so many found their way here. Never posted often on THM, but was an avid reader and so thankful for all who kept us in the know of what was going on.

Looking forward to following along here with all the other "refugees"!!

Reminder to ex-Hinkies on Jane Bashara thread --- Reality Chatter is mostly for missing/murdered children, so new dedicated Justice4Jane site created at http://justice4jane.forumotion.com. Please join us.

again to all the new peeps.

yw to Chester, glad you & everyone else found us.

ecossie, I'm glad Ann helped you with your posts.

Through Google I found my way here.
I was very very sorry to see THM shut down, I was a little mad, to tell you the truth, now I understand the situation a little better and just feel sad.
I hate what Val has to go through, I will miss her articles and everything about her.
I was a Hinky from the very beginning, now I'm happy to see so many familiar names her.

Happy motherday everyone!

Hi emberl, to RC. I'm glad you found us. I hope you enjoy it here. If you have any questions, just ask.

emberl- I, too, kept doing google searches. (I kept trying to send stories and links over to Hinky on the Goodman appeal.) Felt desperate, alone, rejected, and akin to an addict going through addiction. So I took a deep inhale. And then the fingers started walking! Glad RC has opened the doors for us. I missed so many of my Hinky friends!

Ann- I don't know how much of the remaining Tammie Smith trial I will be posting. Tremendous amount of time and posting space. (I worried I was taking up too much space and wondered, at first, if I had been banned because of it!) I am going to have to try to find a link. I saved nothing thinking I could always go back.

Also, not sure but isn't Plumadore do for a court hearing? That is one messy case. Someone had worked up and shared the relationship chart. Sure wish I had that!

thanks Ann and Julie and everyone else for the warm welcome!

lostyou wrote:thanks Ann and Julie and everyone else for the warm welcome!

Hi!!!

yw lostyou.

Tamta wrote:

lostyou wrote:thanks Ann and Julie and everyone else for the warm welcome!

Hi!!!

Hello Tamta

Freckles wrote:emberl- I, too, kept doing google searches. (I kept trying to send stories and links over to Hinky on the Goodman appeal.) Felt desperate, alone, rejected, and akin to an addict going through addiction. So I took a deep inhale. And then the fingers started walking! ...

I know that feeling, lol, ... know how that feels and even deeper than that ... especially when all that hatefulness comes out ... out of people all of a sudden (instead of minding their own business, and not to try to point someone out, and then publicly bash and tease that someone .. after all, Site Admin can manage those issues anyhow, .. so was no need for public torture and taunts (including moderators even) ... hopefully lesson learned?

... if you read last message by Valhall .... quote from it:

I’ve seen a growing trend of hatefulness on this site. I have more real-world bitterness and human emotional brutality to deal with in my own real life sitution than I can even express…or handle. I’ve seen real-life hatefulness and what it does to people. Hatefulness makes my stomach churn.

All that hatefulness, bitterness and human emotional brutality in Val's real-world and at the forum as well, after a while, became one of the factors and reasons why Val decided to "close the shop" so to speak...

Try to be more mild people, more kinder (regardless of the situation) .. We are all humans after all ...

No need for all the bitterness, cruelty and public taunts.....

In a long run NO ONE benefits from it, really.....

Julie wrote:If anyone is interested, there's an avatar gallery on RC. Click Profile at the top, then Avatar, then at the bottom click Show Gallery. You can choose one of those or make your own using a google image. Just copy the url line and paste it into the second box on the Avatar page I mentioned above.

You can also load one of your own personal pics as your avatar.

Click Profile, then Avatar, then the box that says Browse. A window should open allowing you to go to your own personal pictures. Click on the one you want to use, then click Save.

I was also at a loss when I could not go to The Hinky Meter. I read/lurked there daily. I just read, I never posted but I felt such a loss. I felt like I had lost my friends. Glad to see almost eveyone here! Val has such an amazing writing style and I loved the way she summed things up so well and so concisely!

By the way Julie, thank you for the Avatar info, that helped immensely!

wonderingwhy - you're welcome &

Is that your little guy? Or girl?

Hi Julie

Yes, that is my little merle bulldog. Mysti

Aww, she's so cute!

Kwest wrote:*Bedazzled Mandible Waves Forever*

Hi Kwestie! I have to say, it is so good to see a familiar Mandible!

Ann - Tx, Julie

Jane Bashara thread here at forum ( http://www.realitychatter.com/t3804-jane-bashara-murdered-jan-24-2012 ) is still alive for now, i see...

Will it remain alive or will be closed / deleted, or it's not decided yet?

Thanks, Julie..She really is a little cutie..

ruckrider bball wrote:val could've closed the thread if it was getting so heated, she did it on my brother's threads as some people were delving into personal attacks on the family and she simply closed them and told us all to behave

Hi there! I'm reading through all the new posts and still have a few pages to go. I hope I am not being insensitive, but which case related to your brother? My apologies for being so ignorant but I am clueless about which case or thread you are referring to.

Thanks!

Darkman wrote:Ann - Tx, Julie

Jane Bashara thread here at forum is still alive for now, i see...

Will it remain alive or will be closed / deleted, or it's not decided yet?

I believe Justice4all or Fysty will let you know for sure.

wonderingwhy wrote:Thanks, Julie..She really is a little cutie..

She sure is!

Chickenbutt wrote:Alrighty, can anyone tell me how to add cases to the Topics I Am Watching? Is that for me to be able to put all the cases I am interested in in one place. Also, when I come to this thread, it always takes me to page one. Is there a way to set something to take me to the most recent post? Sorry for all the questions....just trying to learn.

Welcome Chickenbutt. To watch a topic, go to any page in the topic, then on the right below the last post on the page, click on Watch this topic for replies. To see the topics you are watching, click profile, then click Topic(s) being watched.

That works, but the easiest way I've found to navigate the site is to go to the forum page and click View posts since last visit.


You will get a page that looks like this.


For any topic you are interested in, right-click the orange square with the little arrow to the left of the topic title, then click Open link in new tab. This will open each of the topics to the first new post since your last visit.

Welcome everybody. I'm sorry to see The Hinky Meter go. I didn't have much time to comment, but I read most of Val's articles. I've been very busy dealing with real life issues, so I also haven't been here much lately, but now I should have time to be on a little more often than I have been the past few months.

JustWinnie wrote:So glad I found my Hinky Friends! Hi everyone!!!

Love your avatar!

ecossie possie wrote:No one said anything just a bit raw an thought my posts were being deleted.Ann has explained that its not the case,Just system overload or something..Happy Mothers Day ...

Ecossie, I can understand how you feel as the loss of our Hinky home was sudden and unexpected. Please hang in there while you learn to navigate around RC .... as it really is a wonderful place.

BTW ... I'm still waiting in eager anticipation for Dewani to touch down in South Africa!!!!

J4a...thank you. That makes life much easier.

Dateline NBC is doing a story on a case using Florida's SYG law. In case anyone is interested.

They are explaining how the SYG law works...pretty interesting

Chickenbutt wrote:Dateline NBC is doing a story on a case using Florida's SYG law. In case anyone is interested.

Thank you for the information. I am watching it now.

Justice4all wrote:Welcome everybody. I'm sorry to see The Hinky Meter go. I didn't have much time to comment, but I read most of Val's articles. I've been very busy dealing with real life issues, so I also haven't been here much lately, but now I should have time to be on a little more often than I have been the past few months.

I second that J4A. Things are finally calming down around me as well. My mom is doing much better. Today was awesome to have so many of us kids, here...with Mom today. She looked so happy to have us all in one house.

I am flying home on Wednesday night, so I will be more available after that. THM will be missed. I, too, loved reading over there.

~Fysty~

Gia wrote:

ruckrider bball wrote:val could've closed the thread if it was getting so heated, she did it on my brother's threads as some people were delving into personal attacks on the family and she simply closed them and told us all to behave

Hi there! I'm reading through all the new posts and still have a few pages to go. I hope I am not being insensitive, but which case related to your brother? My apologies for being so ignorant but I am clueless about which case or thread you are referring to.

Thanks!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gia, this message is written by Eric Preimesberger's brother. He's just voicing his disappointment about the Hinkymeter closing down... referring to another time when Val had to close some threads that were getting too heated concerning that case.

Anyone whom had the Caylee Anthony timeline saved via the Hinky Meter an lost it here is where Vall posted it originally if you want to save it... http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread431159/pg1